Every Swim Parent Should Read This (3 Steps For Your Swimmer’s Success)
The swim parent is the backbone of the swimming community. They want the best for their swimmer. They spend hours and hours driving swimmers back and forth to practices, sitting through long swim meets, and helping swimmers along their journeys. No swimmer can succeed without some form of parental support. But what happens when the job of a parent overlaps with the job of a swim coach? How do we as a community navigate the different roles that we each have to play?
Let’s Get Started With 3 Steps To Being A Helpful Swim Parent…
1) Swim Parents And Coaches Are On The Same Team
What can oftentimes happen when situations boil over is that the swim parent or the swim coach feel that one another is overstepping their roles and boundaries. This comes from a place of assumptions. The reality is, we’re all on the same team, and need to act like it.
That means it’s the coach’s job to set the tone at the beginning of the season. I recommend that swim coaches have a parents meeting where they can discuss expectations and roles so that assumptions get handled.
Each silo of the team should have a defined role for success. For swim parents, that could look like:
- Supporting the swimmer in getting to practice on time
- Giving the swimmer emotional support in the good times and the bad times
- Contributing to nutrition at home without it being restrictive or shame-based
- Reinforcing the structure that helps swimmers thrive (swim parents and swim coaches need to have each other’s back)
No matter what you decide is the swim parent’s role, the key is that you are talking about it and working together to define what you need and what’s going to make the team successful.
Swim Parent Advice Comes Straight From SLAF Mentor Mike Bottom
In the coaching world we call these “performance indicators.” Each silo of the team needs to have more than 1 performance indicator, and when somebody is doing well, that needs to be acknowledged… publicly.
2) Keep The Car Ride Home CALM
The car ride home is one of the most vulnerable times for a swimmer. They’re processing all that they just learned and worked on in practice or at a meet.
What parents can provide consistently and much more often than swim coaches – emotional support! And yes, a swimmer’s development must receive emotional safety from adults who aren’t just their parents.
But the reality is that swim parents have access to their swimmers much more often. And, they have a lifetime of experience with that kid. The swim parent knows their swimmer best.
When picking up a swimmer from practice or from a meet, here are a few things to say:
- What did your coach say today? (Then reinforce. Have the coach’s back and they will have your back).
- Where did you give it your all today? (Effort builds confidence. Confidence builds performance over time).
- What did your coach enter you in for this weekend? (Even if you don’t agree with it or your swimmer doesn’t agree with it, have their back)
Swim parents: Your role isn’t to coach! Your role is to stay curious and help them love the sport. That occurs when you foster a connection with your swimmer off the deck in a way that only swim parents can!
3) Focus On The Habits. Not The Time.
Swim parents are in a unique position to support swimmers in their habits way more than swim coaches can. After all, the second a swimmer is off the deck, it’s no longer the coach’s domain.
Even when a swimmer is going through a plateau or a difficult time, the temptation to focus on the results might be loud! Resist it! Good habits will fix whatever is happening.
For example: Give your swimmer a bedtime. Then help them initiate a routine that calms them down and sets them up for success the next day. For me personally, I try to be asleep by 9:30 pm. That means I’m putting screens away at 8 pm, eating a little bit of protein at 8:30, and doing something to relax by 9 pm.
These steps are similar to giving a small child a bath then reading them a story before they go to bed. It let’s the body know it’s safe to sleep. Swim parents can influence this routine far more than swim coaches.
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The same goes for a long list of daily habits that swimmers need to succeed. What they eat, how they hydrate, and how they manage their stress from school and learning how to navigate relationships is high up on this list.
Swim parents: Remember that you are your swimmer’s safest place! If a swimmer isn’t swimming well, let them lead the conversation about why they think that is. If you’ve taught them about good habits, they’ll likely know what’s going wrong. You can then ask them what help they need to fix it.
This is a common example of how swimming and learning the art of working towards something sets you up for success in life!
If You’re Struggling With Your Role, That’s Common
This is a topic that the whole swimming community is still working to figure out. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. But following these 3 steps will get you on the right track. Make sure to give yourself credit for what you’re doing right!
When swim parents and swim coaches aren’t aligned, the swimmer is always going to feel that. That tension puts the swimmer in the middle and adds pressure from both sides. The result? Swimmers aren’t getting the help they need to get better.
Swim parents: We love you! You’re a crucial part of the swimming community. Thanks for all you do!
Until next time,
Abbie Fish and the Swim Like A. Fish Team