From Laps to Little Leagues: When a Former Swimmer Raises the Next One
Are you a former swimmer who is now a parent? Avoid these common swim parent mistakes! When you were a swimmer, then a swammer, and now a swim parent, it can be easy to feel like you’re reliving your swim career right alongside your new swimmer. After all, you’ve been in their shoes and can understand what the swimmer is going through more than most people can!
While this can be a huge strength, it also can become a weakness if you let it. Today’s blog is going to give you the tools to give your swimmer what they need WITHOUT overstepping and causing unintended problems.
Let’s Get Started…
The key to staying in your lane as a parent is to understand the potential pitfalls (and the potential upsides) of a unique relationship like the one you have with your current swimmer!
The Downsides of Being A Former Swimmer / Current Parent
- It can easily lead to too high expectations. It is very rare that a child will do exactly as well as a parent when it comes to their performance. It’s always best to let the child have their own experience without expecting them to reach the same level you did.
- It can lead to a comparison game. “We didn’t do it that way when I was a swimmer,” is a common phrase we hear that undermines a swimmer’s personal experience. Keep in mind, they’re living life and having this experience for the first time. Let them own it!
- It can bring you right back to your own swimming career. And in that case, it’s all too easy to try to re-live it through your child. This takes away the focus from the swimmer and makes it all about you.
- It can cause a parent to feel they need to step in and play coach. Remember: Parents parent. Coaches coach!
Above all else, remember that your swimmer’s experience is ultimately different than yours. The times are different, the technology is different, and the way things are done are likely different. Even though there will be some overlap in your experiences, they aren’t the same and that’s a good thing!
Although there are obvious downsides, there are also some obvious upsides.
The Upsides of Being A Former Swimmer / Current Parent:
- You can relate to your swimmer on a deep level. This leads to further connection and a shared bond that can last a lifetime. If you protect it!
- You get to spend time back around a sport that you love! As long as you know where your new role is, you can help provide a swimmer exactly what they need (whether that’s the right snacks or emotional support).
- You likely know people in the world! After all, swimmers are all connected. Reconnecting with an old teammate who is now a coach on an opposing team? Nothing better!
- You understand the ups and downs that come with this sport, and can help your swimmer through it!
Overall, the key to the former swimmer / current swimmer relationship is to minimize inserting yourself into your swimmer’s experience! Instead, use your experience and years of gaining wisdom to help your swimmer along the way, to provide them what they need, and to enjoy being in the swimming world that taught you so much!
It’s not about being less involved. It’s about being involved in a way that maximizes help!
After all, swimming has shaped us all on a deep level. What a gift to be able to pass that down to your children!
Lean into the upsides that this experience has to offer and try to avoid the common mistakes. Parents remember that your big job is to help your swimmers learn and feel understood in their experiences!
Until next time,
Abbie Fish and the Swim Like A. Fish Team